Memories
by TheOnlyPotato
Summary: {Rupaul's Drag Race/DWV fanfiction} The real reason behind their break-up, the thing that made everything go south. Told through Third Person/Vicky's P.O.V. {Rated R for lemon trees, don't flame me I'm not Katniss Everdeen}


**I've officially decided I'm going to hell for this, but I could careless. I was so heartbroken I needed to get this out in the air. No sue? No sue. Also, if there are errors excuse them, I was writing in a room full of adults on an iPhone .-.**

**Memories**

The small pattering coming from the rain outside soothed me as I leaned back into the tub. It was over. Somehow, someway, everything went wrong. Detox and Willam hated each other, and I faded back into their shadows. I had my opinion go unnoticed, they ended the group without even consulting me. It was best though, because if it were up to me, Detox wouldn't be sobbing mercilessly in the room over.

A loud clap of thunder makes me jump, and I drop my wine glass, shattering the sharp shards all across my bathroom. I curse loudly and shake my head, waving my hand. I'll do it later, there is too much shit running through my mind at the moment.

I close my eyes and sigh. Where did we all go wrong? Probably starting with De and Willam. I blame those two for our misfortune. Thinking back to the beginning, I drift into my memories.

**~.~ The First Time They Had Sex (together) {****Part 1 of 3}**

Detox and Willam exit the bar through the back, Detox's arm hanging loosely off of Willam's waist to keep him steady. Willam was drunk off his ass and barely able to walk.

Vicky followed behind, trying to get them to stop being so touchy-feely in public. There was nothing between them - for now - but media talks and they couldn't afford to get trashed now, especially since the band was just taking off.

A group of underage kids who didn't have the time, money or sources for a fake I.D. cheer when they exit the club, the sounds of their screams deafening.

"Willam can you sign my stomach?!"

"Detox I have foreskin!"

"Vicky, can you sing a song?!" Orders and demands were screamed out by the crazed underage fans, but Detox politely refused them.

"As much as I would love to do more foreskin shots, m'loves, we really have to get back to the hotel. Willam isn't… doing too good," she says. Vicky always admired how she could be so skanky and professional at the same time.

There are collective groans of disappointment, but Detox somehow manages to stave them off while Vicky gets Willam into the car. As soon as De is in, Vicky gets behind the wheel.

"I wish we could have stayed… I saw some really young ones out there," Vicky murmurs, starting the engine. From the backseat Willam groans something that sounds like a curse and rolls over. Detox twists to glance at his alcohol-induced friend.

"Hey, Willam, you okay?"

"I feel like shit and everything is really blurry and my god why are there so many of you?" Detox sighs and carefully climbs into the backseat.

"What are you doing?" Vicky asks, driving towards the hotel.

"Getting him out of drag… as soon as he touches that bed he'll be out like a light, and you know how he hates sleeping in his drag. Just get us there," she replies, removing the make-up wipes and extra set of boy clothes they always kept near. By the time Vicky has pulled up to the valet, Willam and Detox both are in boy form and Detox is carrying Willam bridal style. The front desk clerks glare at them but say nothing as they make their way into their room.

Willam, on the other hand, is making it very hard for Detox to get him into the hotel with a straight mind. He keeps nibbling on his ear or pressing kisses to his lips.

"Love you," he murmurs, unbuttoning the fellow queens shirt.

"I… fuck… Willam what are you… Stop that… you're married… can you stop, please?" Willam pouts at her rejection of his affection, and Detox somehow manages to get them into the hotel room.

"Okay, we're safe," Detox says, locking the door behind her. Just as she turns around, Willam slams himself into her tall frame, standing on the tips of his toes to kiss him. They slam into the door with a loud crack, and for a second Willam worries they've broken it but only momentarily, because her mind is focused on one thing at the moment. Detox holds his waist tightly, keeping him in place as they stumble over to the bed.

"Oh fuck it, you won't remember in the morning anyways," Detox growls. Willam grinds his hips against her in reply, needed some sort of friction. Through his haze of alcohol, he struggles with the buckle on her jeans belt.

"Take them off!" He growls, getting frustrated.

"Slow down, sweetheart. We've got all night," Detox whispers, before running her tongue gently over his ear. Willam whimpers and Detox slowly manages to slide his sweatpants and boxers down around his ankles, leaving him completely exposed.

She stares at the man below her, cheeks red and eyes filled with lust.

"Hurry up," Willam whines, and Detox is snapped back into it. She makes quick work of reaching for the lube, but Willam stops her.

"We don't have time, just do it," he moans. Shrugging lightly, she gently places a finger into his hole, moving it slowly. Detox had always been gentle with Willam, seeing him not as a mere sex object but as a true lover.

Willam grips the sheets and begs for more. So using her other hand, Detox slowly begins to stroke his hard member. Luckily she knows how to hold out, just as long as she's in control. Willam growls and she slips another finger in. He knows she's got him completely under her control and he lets her.

Removing her fingers, she brings them to his mouth, where he sucks them clean.

Willam narrows his eyes, and for once takes control. He flips her so she's on bottom and now, with his drunken haze clearing up, manages to undo her jeans. He removes his jeans and slides his boxers down before taking her into his mouth.

"W-W-Willam s-s-stop," Detox stutters, his cheeks getting red. Detox had never actually been sucked off before. She was always the one doing the sucking, so it was a little awkward and uncomfortable for her.

But Willam's motions are so professional and smooth, that he now has her under his control. Knowing her limits though, Detox refrains from grabbing his hair and pushing down. Willam takes his slow time, give her the pleasure she deserves.

Detox grips the sheets, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Willam works his mouth and tongue in mystical ways, bringing her close to his edge.

"Shit," Detox finally murmurs, pulling away. "I won't last if you keep that up." Willam laughs and climbs onto her, straddling her lap. Catching the hint, Detox positions her tip right at his entrance, and Willam presses down. Their moans of ecstasty echo off the walls. Giving him time to adjust, Detox holds his waist in place. When it was too much, Willam was known for wiggling away from her.

As soon as the pain evaporates into pleasure, Willam rolls his hips a little. Detox gasps and releases him, allowing him full control. It doesn't take long for him to be bouncing full throttle. Detox is groaning and Willam's name is falling from his lips. Willam is remaining quiet though, simply biting his lip and feeling the pleasure of being filled to the core.

They rock together, two bodies moving in friction and heated passion. It isn't long before Detox is gripping his waist and filling him up and Willam is panting like a dog in heat. Together they ride out their orgasm, semen splattering all over Detox's stomach.

Willam collapses onto the bed next to him, his eyes catching that mischievous twinkle.

"That was wrong," he whispers, staring at his wedding ring on the dresser.

"I know," Detox murmurs, his eyes on the ring as well.

"But it felt so right." He turns to Detox to see her eyes are on the ceiling, and she has a faint smile on her lips.

"I know," she replies, a bitter laugh falling from her on lips.

"… I'm not gonna forget this in the morning." Sighing, Detox stood and collected her clothing. She pulled on his jeans before turning towards the door, on her way to his own hotel room.

"I know," she whispers, exiting the room.

**~.~ The First Time They Said '_I Love You'_ (and meant it) {Part 2 of 3}**

With Bruce gone for the weekend and Willam left without gigs – for once –, she decided to have a little sleepover. So, with a few phone calls and text messages, Detox was at her house quicker than you could breathe.

"De!" Willam squeals, when the door opens. The taller man sweeps Willam into his arms with a long passionate kiss.

"Hey, love. I missed you," he says. They hadn't had time to actually _be_ together in a few weeks, considering they'd been jam-packed with gigs. So with this free time, they would be sure to use it wisely.

"I missed you too… what's in the bag?" Willam asks gently. It couldn't be clothing because – much like himself – Detox and Vicky _nested. _They all had clothes at each other's house, in case of emergencies. Detox and Vicky both practically had a personal closet each in Willam's house.

"It's a… It's a surprise, per say." Willam frowns, but Detox moves past him into the kitchen, where he places the bag into a high empty cupboard. Cursing his short demeanor, Willam rolls his eyes before dragging him up to the bedroom, where they can _catch up_ on what they missed.

As soon as the senseless fucking – maybe not so senseless because hell, they both feel the sparks every time their lips touch – had died down in the bedroom, they move to the bathtub where they sit in a tub full of bath salts and bath bombs and drink glasses of champagne.

"Are you going to tell me what's in the bag?"

"Nope. As a matter of fact, don't open it until I leave." There's a mischievous glint in Detox's eyes and Willam just wants to stab him – maybe not with a knife, most likely with a certain object on his body – in the throat.

"Can I get a hint?"

"It's something you've been complaining about," He smiles, taking a sip of wine. Willam ponders it, then uses his foot to kick him gently in the jaw.

"I complain about a lot of things, faggot. Just tell me."

"No."

"You know, they don't lie when they call you congeniasshole."

"You are literally the only person that calls me that," Detox points out.

"Yeah, well… it's a good thing I do because that's what you are. A nice asshole. You get me a gift but don't tell me what it is? What the hell?" They both know what he's trying to do. Willam is trying to guilt trip him into telling what the surprise was. Clucking his tongue a little, Detox climbs out of the bathtub.

"I will not sit here and be berated by you, young man. I'm going downstairs for some food." Just to tease a little, he bends over a little and wiggles his bottom. Willam slaps it playfully before Detox grabs the towel and skips out of the bathroom.

That entire weekend, Willam pesters him about it. And he gets the same answer every time: 'No'. He even tried getting it when Detox was asleep, but his conscience burned at him and we wound up putting it back, never unwrapping it.

The day before Bruce leaves, Detox does. They say their goodbyes – but never utter 'I love you' because that would make things complicated – and Detox leaves. Willam waits for him to be completely out of sight before running into the house and removing the bag.

Inside, is a silver dress, about knee-length and a matching fanny pack. Inside the pack is a bunch of pictures of the entire group – and some of just them two – as well as a CD marked _DWV: Shit On The Parade. _A note is buried at the bottom of the actual bag.

_You have been groaning about us having matching outfits, so I got us some. I have gold, Vicky has black. Also, here's a fanny pack with some mementos in it. Wear it to the Hamburger Mary's Opening next week?_

_xoxo De (Congeniasshole)_

It isn't the actual gift that makes her tear up, but the fact that she actually thought of all this stuff and put it together. He knows no one has gotten around to burning a CD of all of their songs yet alone making an album _and _titling it. It really was the thought that counted.

Rushing to her phone, Willam dials his number.

"Hello?"

"I love you."

There is a long pause before:

"I love you too."

**~.~ The First (and last) Time They Fought {Part 3 of 3}**

Willam was fuming. He was absolutely pissed. How could he just go off with some skank? Detox knew he had Willam, why should he need that other boy?

His name was V something or another. They were standing in the middle of the empty sidewalk, their lips moving in a perfect rhythm, their fingers entwined. Willam could see both of them were in love. And that hurt, because De was supposed love _him._

Meanwhile, across the street, Detox pulled away from Victor, her eyes were half-lidded and she was content. She had finally done it. She wasn't some sort of side-whore anymore. Someone legitimately loved her, and loved her first.

"I love you," she whispers to him. Victor wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They stood there in silence a little, Detox breathing in his Old Spice – it smelled like Willam, but she never allowed that thought to completely form – and he her expensive perfume.

"I love you too, Matt," he replies gently. Detox had momentarily forgotten what it felt like for someone to love his drag and boy form. Victor respected her drag lifestyle, calling her by her stage name when she was in drag. And when she wasn't, she was Matthew. And he was okay with that too.

"You should go, your ex…"

"I know, I know," Detox murmurs guiltily. She had forgotten to break-up with Willam, so it didn't come by any surprise when he and Vicky strolled by and spotted them. She had seen them out of the corner of her eye – Vicky had been excited for her, and Willam simply glared – and remained completely still in Victor's arms.

"Go, I'll catch up with you before you leave for London."

"Okay… I love you."

"I love you too," Victor says, before releasing her and walking away slowly. Detox crosses the street and catches up with Willam, who remains silent. Vicky, on the other hand, chattered mindlessly about the boy.

"He's cute. Is he a bottom?"

"He's versatile," Detox says. Vicky giggles.

"_Versatile, yeah okay. Girl you know he's super gay_," She sings. Willam balls her hands into fists and glares at Detox.

"No, he really is though. Sometimes he tops and sometimes he bottoms. It just… depends."

"Well, that sounds wonderful," Willam says. Almost as if on some cliché cue, it begins to drizzle. The rain slams down onto the group, but luckily Vicky predicted this forecast and brought along an umbrella.

"Yeah, it is… uh… Vicky-"

"Yeah, I know. I'll be at home if you guys need me," she says, handing him the umbrella. Looking to Detox, her eyes say it all.

_Be careful._

He nods and she hails a taxi, zooming off and away from the duo.

"Willam-"

"Save your breath."

"I'm tired, okay? I'm tired of being nothing but someone you call when you and Bruce are arguing or when he's out of town. I wanted to be loved by someone who can openly call me theirs without running the risk of a divorce. I wanted to be held and not feel like some dirty home wrecker. Willam, it was a great run while it lasted but-"

"You could have told me! You could have told me how you felt and saved us both the pain! You are an asshole, and I wish we had never met!"

"Don't say that!"

"Why shouldn't I? I hate you down to your very core, Matthew Sanderson. You understand? I hate you for making me feel like trash every time we slept together. I hate you for putting this strain on Bruce and I's relationship. I fucking hate you for existing."

"You're being selfish right now! It's perfectly okay for me to leave your house alone and sleep in my bed cold and alone, but when it happens to you we have a problem! It's not my fault that you and Bruce are having marriage issues! It's hardly even my fault for us becoming this! I don't want that life for myself Willam!"

"Yeah, but it's what you deserve," he says. The words stab at Detox worse than any knives could. She stumbles back, dropping the umbrella. The light drizzle becomes heavy downpour, and soon the duo are drenched. They stare at each other, pain ricocheting off their hearts and into their eyes.

"You know what, I'm so done trying to please you. It's all 'Willam this' and 'Willam that'. It was always about you. You are so selfish! I hope you and Bruce have a happy fucking life asshole!" He begins to storm away, but Willam refuses to let him have the last say.

"You toy with my heart and then you get mad when I want something for me? Who's the one being selfish now!?"

"All I wanted was for you to _want_ _me_ Willam. All I ever asked is for someone to need me in their life. And I thought you did. I thought we had something. But I was wrong. You honesty are the lowest form of scum."

"Oh I'm the lowest form of scum? I am? Me? The one who, if I'm not correct, allowed you to cry on my shoulder when you and your brother had that argument? Me, the one who held you while you battled the alcohol withdrawal?" Detox laughs in her face. She genuinely laughs.

"Firstly, I never went through alcohol withdrawal you stupid bitch. That was _Vicky_. Secondly, yes you are. Just like you hate me, I hate you," she whispers, her voice still tingling with a bitter laugh.

"Then that's it then? We're over just like that."

"Fucking hell you'd think I'd stay with you after this? We're over and so is DWV." Hailing a cab of her own, she leaves Willam there, standing in the rain.

Detox doesn't even knock when she enters Vicky's house, just graps two bottles of hard white liquor and marches right up the stairs and into the guest room. Vicky doesn't need to ask what happened, she already knows. In the guest room, Detox turns off all the lights, draws the shades, and begins to sob and drink. She lets out a guttural scream and cries so hard that Vicky's roommates awaken.

Not daring to go into the room – too afraid that she may just kill one of them – they all take turns passing by the door, listening in on her. Each time it's the same thing. Drunken slurs, breaking glass, heavy drinking and then more crying.

Eventually, they stop listening in.

Willam storms into his house, slamming the door so hard the house shakes a little. He moves throughout the house, slamming anything breakable to the floor in her fit of rage. After destroying thousands of dollars worth of breakables, he collapses to the ground and begins to cry. When Bruce enters, he's confused.

"Willam, honey, what's wrong?" He doesn't answer him, but simply throws himself into his arms. They somehow wind up on the couch, where they fuck each other senseless. Bruce doesn't miss the moan of Detox's name as Willam orgasms, but he doesn't say anything either. And when Willam is safely asleep, he sighs and carries him into their room.

The next morning when Willam wakes up already drinking, Bruce doesn't need to ask what happened.

**~.~**

That's all I really know, of what Willam and Detox each told me. After that night, we released the news of the break-up and pursued our solo careers. Although Detox and Victor eventually broke-up, Willam and Bruce remain together.

Sometimes when I spend the night at Detox's house, I can hear her mumbling Willam's name in her sleep. And other times, when Willam thinks he's alone, he stares at pictures of he and De together and wonders where the hell it all went sour.


End file.
